You know the one I mean…the one that’s never going to come.
I refer to the apology you wanted to get from your mom or dad…the apology that won’t happen because they are either gone or not capable of understanding the level of pain and hurt you suffered as a child. It’s the apology for not being the kind of parent you needed, but the parent you got. It’s the apology for not relating to, understanding, accepting the child that you were and making you feel like it was your fault. That apology. Not gonna’ happen. Doesn’t matter…
…because you are waiting for the wrong “I’m sorry”!
The apology you should be getting is the one you should be giving…to yourself. The one where you tell yourself how sorry you are for hanging on to that old story, for letting your past color every aspect of your present and future. The apology for stunting your emotional growth, for stagnating in a pool of sorrow and pity, for getting more neurotic as you gave your pain more and more power over your thoughts and emotions.
And while you’re at it, apologize to those this hanging-on-to has hurt because, trust me when I say this, you have not suffered in silence. Your pain has permeated your relationships, every one.
Let it go. Dare to be the you that requires no “I’m sorry”. Be a creator of your life, not one who sits on the sidelines of it and waits…
…and waits and waits.