I’ve not read ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ and will probably not see the movie.
When one of my girlfriends read the book, she described it as pornographic. Several employees of local women’s shelters have labeled the book and movie as sexual abuse, honing in on the submissive aspect of this fictional relationship.
My opinion on sex is that often one partner agrees to something the other partners wants or needs, not because they are into that, but because they are afraid of losing the relationship by saying no. This is not a good thing.
My opinion on sex is that if both partners agree because it is something they want to willingly experience and the activity is undertaken with respect for the boundaries of each, anything is okay. And at any time, one of the partners can call a halt to the sexual practice. This can be a good thing.
I also believe that it is very freeing to write about sex. Penning a story about a sexual experience need not be pornographic, but it can be extremely sensuous. It can also help open up closed feelings about sex, give a person the courage to ask their partner for what they need, create a playground for a couple to enjoy a deeper level of intimacy. Often, people feel shamed by what they enjoy, feeling it is sinful or that no one else thinks about the same things when it comes to sex. Shining a light on what feels dark and dangerous can demystify sex, allowing one’s needs to be viewed more naturally. We are sexual beings. It is healthier to be less repressed about our sexuality.
When my girlfriend said she thought the book pornographic, I asked the group of women if they had ever written out their sexual fantasies and shared my opinions about doing so. It made for a lively dinner conversation!