Ego is a necessary thing.
It is the part of you that defines itself as a personality, separates itself from the outside world, and considers itself (you!) a separate entity from the rest of nature and the cosmos.
Necessary for survival in an evolutionary sense, Freud defined ego as the part of your personality that mediates the demands of the id (superego) and reality in a way that is in balance with our moral and idealistic standards.
A healthy ego is needed for us to create and nurture our creations in the real world. Unhealthy ego is responsible for hate, fear, delusion, and ego-trips because it sees and protects the idea of separateness which calls forth paranoia and mistrust.
An unhealthy ego must be right at all costs and values “I” more than “We” or “All”. It can get in the way of real listening because it is always thinking about what it is going to say next! It does all it can to prop up and bolster the persona(s) is has created as a mask to present to the outside world. “The poor ego has a hard time of it, serving and trying to reconcile the demands of three tyrants…the external world, the superego (creator of our idealistic and moral standards), and the id (creator of our basic urges).” Freud
Freud also says the only time the ego deviates from “I” values is when it is in love.
Think of how things would be if we came to every task, relationship, and creation with nothing but love. We would have to love ourselves in order to love others and that loving would obliterate the lines between ourselves and every one else. We wouldn’t be able to see the difference, see where we began, ended and where another living thing began and ended. We wouldn’t have to be right and someone else wrong. We wouldn’t have to defend anything or be critical of everything in order to prove our superiorty to ourselves.
The pressure would be off! The focus would shift. Our ‘tightness’ would melt. We would just be and observe everything else be-ing.
Love would be the answer. Would ego even be necessary?